Working with Beliefs
Being wrong or vulnerable is the opposite of our human nature. Resistance is too. The ego is what makes our sense of identity feel protected.
We all have our core beliefs, and they’re often forged out of deeper insecurities.
If you’re suffering, you are believing a fear-based belief that has all these different thoughts coming around it. You are believing in being unlovable.
As Gandi says, our beliefs create our thoughts. Our thoughts create feelings and emotions. And those create actions. Our actions create our character. And our character creates our destiny.
I used to believe that I loved some people deeply, and some of them had betrayed or hurt me.
I used to believe that love could not actually last through time. The concept felt equivalent to desire or passion.
I used to believe that my standards and values should be the norm. If I could give generously, be respectful and self-aware, why wouldn’t others want to do the same?
I used to believe that I was wasting my days away, because I hadn’t figured out what I really wanted in life.
I used to believe that death would be my final ultimate. I thought when death would come for me, I’d lose it all and everything’d be a complete black-out. Considered a simple product of biology, our consciousness could not possibly transcend the human body.
These deeply wired believes affected my life in many confining ways, without me ever realizing the why.
“Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open?”
— Rumi
Through my self-development work in the past few years, my beliefs slowly surfaced. They’ve expanded and transformed through conscious challenges and new learnings.
With a more opened mind and an encouraged heart, I started to considered the opposites of my “realities”.
How would things be, or how would I feel if these beliefs aren’t actually true?
What if what I once thought was real love was merely the person’s image I built in my head? Yes, that makes me feel stupid, but I’ve already fully accepted the fact that I know almost nothing.
What if what I once thought was not love still had some love in presence? This means I have to be grateful for the people who hurt me too. It’s difficult, but hey, thanks for trying, and thanks for the lessons.
What if love can last forever in time through different beings and forms, trivial or big, light or deep? A friend loves, a family loves, and even a dog loves. Through insight meditation practices, I can not only perceive and transform any dosage of care into a source of love, but also have my heart create that lovingkindness for myself as well as others.
What if my personal standards and values aren’t matched by others? I feel disconnected. My expectations of others are also simply a direct reflection of what I expect of myself. So what happens when I stop judging others? I will also be more kind to myself.
What if I have not wasted my time through those trials and errors? What if I fully acknowledged all of my achievements in life? What if I see the strengths in me like the others do? There is a new sense of empowerment I was simply reluctant to offer to myself.
What if our consciousness can exist even after our bodily death? Science has always been proving its old self wrong. There is just so much we don’t know yet. What if I open up more possibilities for things beyond scientific comprehension? This makes me feel hopeful and relieved. I no longer have to stay fearful of things that are uncertain and out of my control, such as death.
You know that feeling of having afternoon tea with a nice friend? Bring that same level of friendliness and gentleness into working with your beliefs.
When you create a friendly and warm space, you can look into both the mental and physical states of your being when you are living a specific belief.
With such openness and interest, you will become more present. You will realize that you are not identified with your thoughts, feelings, and the small self—you are much more than that.
Melody Zheng :)
